Jenn and I have had our ups and downs during our long distance relationship. I wish that we could only have ups but sometimes it’s unavoidable. Most of the time it’s my fault that things go wrong since I can never seem to get it right but I am trying. The male and female psyche seems to function differently and one can never know exactly what the other is thinking about. Which is why it’s a good idea to keep a clear and open line of communication going or else something can go wrong.
Last Valentine’s Day, my girlfriend and I spend the night in Macau. Things started out very calm but somewhere along the way, I must have pressed the wrong button without knowing it and my girlfriend was mad at me for a while. I tried to make up for it but it didn’t seem like anything I did was helping. Even though I tried to fix what I broke, a part of me didn’t feel like I could completely fix it. A dozen red roses can’t fix everything.
We’ve been dating for almost two years now and I don’t think we’ve had a happy Valentine’s Day together yet. This year, she’s still in Hong Kong but I failed to do anything special. I find it a little depressing that I couldn’t take the time to make it special at least on this special day. I appear to be slacking off a bit in the boyfriend department. I could use my busy schedule as an excuse but I shouldn’t. All it takes is a simple email telling her that I love her and things would have been all fine and dandy. But I neglected to do that as well.
This year, Jenn sang me my favourite song. It’s called “I’m yours” by Jason Mraz. It’s a tricky song to sing because of the rhythm but once you get used to it, it’s pretty easy. I listen to this song often when I’m driving around in the car. Once it finishes, I usually hit the previous track button and it’ll play again. I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of this song.
Jenn likes to sing to me so one time I sang her a song. It’s a duet by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat called Lucky. I played a video where it was a girl singing and then I sang Jason Mraz’s part. It worked out to be pretty good but I think I screwed up somewhere and started singing too early. But I don’t think Jenn noticed.
Other than that, I did manage to get something for Jenn but the thing is, she won’t be able to receive the gift until I get to Hong Kong. I couldn’t ship it over but it doesn’t make that much sense since I’ll be heading there soon. I might as well save the money on shipping and use it to buy something else.
What makes it difficult is the fact that we’re not in the same country. Even though I have a girlfriend, Valentine’s Day doesn’t seem to stand out as much as it did when Jenn and I were in the same country. The mere fact that we’re not in each other’s presence changes things. We talk every day. We email each other every day. And we do our weekly webcam but even that has its limitations. There’s more to being in a relationship than just talking and writing to each other. There’s that physical interaction that takes place as well. I miss that a lot. I miss holding her hand. I miss kissing her lips. And I miss laying there as we hold each other in bed.
Jenn has always been the better half. I’ve been trying to get to her level so that she doesn’t have to work so hard to keep this relationship going. I try to do my part but sometimes it seems like the timing is always off. But I don’t think the timing would be off by that much if I took the time to schedule things out. I have all of the information that I need but I just have to get off my lazy ass and get started on it. I’ll just have to work harder from now on to make things a lot easier for us.