Seasons may change

Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.

David Deida

Some of us are lucky to have someone special to share life with. Love is a wonderful thing and I hope everyone in the world gets a chance to experience it. My girlfriend is the love of my life. The work days goes by faster knowing that she’s at home waiting for me. As a matter of fact, it seems as if every day goes by faster. But there are times when I wished that time didn’t move so fast. I wish that I had the power to freeze time, if only for a second so I can savour the moment for a bit longer.

I never understood love and all of its offerings. I always thought it was a feeling that you had for someone and that was it. But now I’m starting to see that it’s so much more. Love is a sense of security when the world goes dark. Love is the ability to overcome any obstacle in one’s path. Love is the enjoyment you get when you’re outside running around in the rain just because it’s raining. Love is that comforting feeling knowing that you’re not alone in this world. Love is knowing that there is someone there to catch you when you fall. Love is so many things that can never be express fully.

I’m not expert in the matter but I would like to be one someday. Jenn is a good girl no matter how bad she thinks she is. She’s a very considerate girl and she’s good to me. I on the other hand cannot go through a week without causing some sort of problem. As much as I’d like to avoid these minor complications, they always seem to catch up to me.

Ever since Jenn returned from Hong Kong, we’ve gotten ourselves into an argument every other week, at least, it sort of feels like every other week. Most of these arguments catch me by surprise because I have no idea how they start. Most of it is about the little things but it’s the little things that count, except at the time, it never occurred to me. I was trying to do something nice but there was another side that I didn’t see and that leads to an argument.

What I’ve learned in this relationship is that things need to be planned out ahead of time. I can’t just go out and willy nilly around without telling Jenn about it first. She likes to know things and she likes to know them ahead of time. If I tell her that I’m going out with my friends, I better be going out with my friends.

One time we had an argument because I went out with a different group of friends instead of the ones that I was supposed to go out with. To me, there was nothing wrong, it was just a minor change of plans. My reasoning was that I was going out with some friends and just because I was going out with a different group of friends than the one that I had mentioned, there shouldn’t have been any problems. Jenn saw things from a different perspective and saw that there was a problem.

The problem here was that I told her one thing and then did something else. In a way, it’s like I’m lying to her. That was never my intention but I guess that’s what happened. The day started out just fine but within a matter of hours, things started to get rocky. We’ve had enough arguments to know that we don’t just argue over nothing. If we’re arguing, there’s 99.99% chance that it’s my fault because I was being inconsiderate in some way.

Sometimes I think that we argue a bit too much for my liking but no relationship is perfect with a few minor bumps in the road. During our arguments, I always try to prove my point. I didn’t think that I did anything wrong so I have to prove that I’m right but while I’m proving that I’m right, I’m not listening to Jenn’s point of view. It’s hard to see things from a different perspective when you’re angry and frustrated. I’m right and she’s wrong and that’s what I’m out to prove but if we’re both right, the argument doesn’t go anywhere.

When we’re not proving who’s right or wrong, we’re busy nick picking each other’s words and waiting for the other to say the wrong thing. That’s where things get a lot more heated. Because we’re arguing we don’t hear the right words that are being said and we use usually take things out of content.

The blame falls on both side of the argument. She doesn’t tell me what’s wrong so I have to assume and when I assume, I assume incorrectly. This makes things worst because now it’ll seem like I’m just guessing about the problem. I don’t know what the problem is so I have to guess. And of course, there is a chance that I’ll guess incorrectly.

It’s probably a known fact that guys and girls think differently. Something that’s sounds right to me could be wrong to Jenn but we don’t let that difference get in the way of our relationship. No matter how many problems we run into, we seem to get back together albeit I still have to make things right. I won’t lie, there have been times where I just want to give up on the relationship to avoid further arguments but as Jenn said, it’s very selfish of me to do that. My line of thinking was that, if we’re not together, there’s no way I can hurt her. The part that I didn’t think about was the fact that it could hurt her even more if we split up. I try to avoid that at all cost.

I’ve come to the conclusion a long time ago that I can never leave Jenn no matter what happens. I can probably tell her that I’ll leave if she does something bad but it’s highly unlikely that I’ll actually follow through because she doesn’t really do anything that’s bad enough to make me walk out on her. If I do walk out, it’s probably just to get some air and calm myself down. There are times when she’ll annoy me with things but that’s the thing that I have to accept. As the years go by, we’ll both change in some way. But no matter how she change, I will always accept her for who she is.