Can’t we all just get along?

My girlfriend and I are starting to argue a lot lately. Sometimes it’s over the little things, sometimes it’s over the big things and other times it’s over everything. It’s all part of a relationship’s growing pain although I think we argue a bit too much. When we argue, I see a whole other point of view, one that I didn’t see before. So in a way, arguing is good but at the same time, it’s bad for the relationship. I don’t want to argue as much as we do but it can’t be helped.

I’m not very good at arguing with my girlfriend. I never have any valid examples to say when the time comes. My mind goes blank and there’s nothing I can do that will make it work. I can think of something to say when the argument is over but during the argument, I have nothing. For that reason, it’s kind of pointless for me to argue against my girlfriend. My girlfriend once told me that she practices arguing with me in her head so already she’s one step ahead of me. No matter what I say, she has an argument against it. Most of the time I stay quiet because I know it’s pointless for me to open my mouth.

Some of our arguments can get a bit out of hand where she yells and I yell and we forget to be a loving and caring couple. Usually, she’s yelling at me while I stay quiet but sometimes I can do a bit of yelling as well. I don’t mean to raise my voice at her but it seems like that’s the only way I can get my point across. Usually, I just want some sort of clarification about things but she’s doesn’t want to explain. It’s hard for me to say what needs to be said but I just want to know what’s wrong. Sometimes, the thing that she thinks is wrong isn’t wrong with me.

Yesterday, I didn’t call her because I was running around like crazy at work. I called when I got a chance to call but she didn’t answer. I assumed that she was busy as well. I don’t know what else to think. When you call someone on their cell phone and it rings twice before going busy, that’s a sign that the other person is unable to answer the call. The phone rang twice so it’s obvious that it’s in service. Based on that, I had to assume that she wasn’t able to take my call. That’s no problem. My call will show up in the missed call log and she can return it when she’s free.

By the time I was done work, I hadn’t received a phone call yet. I went into work early that day so I left early. It was pouring out so I gave her a call to see if she was free. Again, I received two rings and a busy tone. And again, I assumed that she was still busy. I didn’t want to have to walk home in the rain since I’d be walking quite a long way but I had to do what I had to do.

I get home, all soaked and wet but that didn’t faze me. I took off my wet clothes and started to do a bit of house chores. There were some dirty dishes from the night before, so I started with that. After I was done with the dishes, I started cooking a little something because I was starting to get hungry. I didn’t know when my girlfriend was going to get home but I started cooking anyway. I didn’t know it but I had missed a phone call. I couldn’t hear my phone ring because of the running water. I don’t have my ring tone set to loud because I’m in an office environment all day and I don’t want to bother people with a loud ring tone.

When my girlfriend arrived home, she seemed a bit disgruntled about something. I’m thinking to myself, “I haven’t seen her all day so there couldn’t have been something I did.” But usually it is something I did, only this time, I had no clue what I could have done. I asked her what is wrong but she wouldn’t tell me. Usually when she doesn’t say anything, I get a little annoyed because it’s clearly my fault for something and I have no idea what I did but she won’t tell me. And when I get annoyed, I do stupid things. This time I lost it and just yelled at her.

The next day, I felt really bad for yelling at my girlfriend. The only image that was going through my head the whole day was the look of fear on her face. When we first started dating, I had promised her that I would never raise my voice at her. It appears that I have broken that very first promise I had made to her. There’s no way she’s going to forgive me for doing that and I will have to try very hard in order to make up for it. I’m not even sure if I can make up for something like that.

Being in a relationship really tests your character. Love makes you do things that you normally wouldn’t do. I’m a very patient person but lately I’ve been getting rather impatient. Being impatient is dangerous for me since I work in a field that requires a lot of it. I’ve been very patient in this relationship but it looks as if I’m starting to lose it. It’s going to be hard to gain back the patience that I had once had. Sometimes, I don’t think I’m the same person that I once was at the beginning of it all. My girlfriend asked me once if I noticed that I’ve changed. I told her that I didn’t change. Now that I look back at it, I think I’ve changed a whole lot. It’s a little scary knowing that you’re not the same person you once use to be. It’s like looking in the mirror and seeing someone totally different.