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November, 2007

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November 30, 2007 11:34 AM

Can’t we all just get along?

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by    in Relationship

My girlfriend and I are starting to argue a lot lately. Sometimes it’s over the little things, sometimes it’s over the big things and other times it’s over everything. It’s all part of a relationship’s growing pain although I think we argue a bit too much. When we argue, I see a whole other point of view, one that I didn’t see before. So in a way, arguing is good but at the same time, it’s bad for the relationship. I don’t want to argue as much as we do but it can’t be helped.

I’m not very good at arguing with my girlfriend. I never have any valid examples to say when the time comes. My mind goes blank and there’s nothing I can do that will make it work. I can think of something to say when the argument is over but during the argument, I have nothing. For that reason, it’s kind of pointless for me to argue against my girlfriend. My girlfriend once told me that she practices arguing with me in her head so already she’s one step ahead of me. No matter what I say, she has an argument against it. Most of the time I stay quiet because I know it’s pointless for me to open my mouth.

Some of our arguments can get a bit out of hand where she yells and I yell and we forget to be a loving and caring couple. Usually, she’s yelling at me while I stay quiet but sometimes I can do a bit of yelling as well. I don’t mean to raise my voice at her but it seems like that’s the only way I can get my point across. Usually, I just want some sort of clarification about things but she’s doesn’t want to explain. It’s hard for me to say what needs to be said but I just want to know what’s wrong. Sometimes, the thing that she thinks is wrong isn’t wrong with me.

Yesterday, I didn’t call her because I was running around like crazy at work. I called when I got a chance to call but she didn’t answer. I assumed that she was busy as well. I don’t know what else to think. When you call someone on their cell phone and it rings twice before going busy, that’s a sign that the other person is unable to answer the call. The phone rang twice so it’s obvious that it’s in service. Based on that, I had to assume that she wasn’t able to take my call. That’s no problem. My call will show up in the missed call log and she can return it when she’s free.

By the time I was done work, I hadn’t received a phone call yet. I went into work early that day so I left early. It was pouring out so I gave her a call to see if she was free. Again, I received two rings and a busy tone. And again, I assumed that she was still busy. I didn’t want to have to walk home in the rain since I’d be walking quite a long way but I had to do what I had to do.

I get home, all soaked and wet but that didn’t faze me. I took off my wet clothes and started to do a bit of house chores. There were some dirty dishes from the night before, so I started with that. After I was done with the dishes, I started cooking a little something because I was starting to get hungry. I didn’t know when my girlfriend was going to get home but I started cooking anyway. I didn’t know it but I had missed a phone call. I couldn’t hear my phone ring because of the running water. I don’t have my ring tone set to loud because I’m in an office environment all day and I don’t want to bother people with a loud ring tone.

When my girlfriend arrived home, she seemed a bit disgruntled about something. I’m thinking to myself, “I haven’t seen her all day so there couldn’t have been something I did.” But usually it is something I did, only this time, I had no clue what I could have done. I asked her what is wrong but she wouldn’t tell me. Usually when she doesn’t say anything, I get a little annoyed because it’s clearly my fault for something and I have no idea what I did but she won’t tell me. And when I get annoyed, I do stupid things. This time I lost it and just yelled at her.

The next day, I felt really bad for yelling at my girlfriend. The only image that was going through my head the whole day was the look of fear on her face. When we first started dating, I had promised her that I would never raise my voice at her. It appears that I have broken that very first promise I had made to her. There’s no way she’s going to forgive me for doing that and I will have to try very hard in order to make up for it. I’m not even sure if I can make up for something like that.

Being in a relationship really tests your character. Love makes you do things that you normally wouldn’t do. I’m a very patient person but lately I’ve been getting rather impatient. Being impatient is dangerous for me since I work in a field that requires a lot of it. I’ve been very patient in this relationship but it looks as if I’m starting to lose it. It’s going to be hard to gain back the patience that I had once had. Sometimes, I don’t think I’m the same person that I once was at the beginning of it all. My girlfriend asked me once if I noticed that I’ve changed. I told her that I didn’t change. Now that I look back at it, I think I’ve changed a whole lot. It’s a little scary knowing that you’re not the same person you once use to be. It’s like looking in the mirror and seeing someone totally different.

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November 21, 2007 11:30 AM

Autumn

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by    in Nature

Autumn

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November 20, 2007 1:49 PM

Optimus Prime: The Beta Fish

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by    in General

At the beginning of my relationship with my girlfriend, she bought me a Siamese fighting fish also known as a Betta Splenden. These fishes originate from the Cambodia and Thailand area. They’re small little fish that are about three inches long and very colourful. The one that I have is a few shades of purple.

When my girlfriend was at the pet store, she saw a fish and it’s the same colour as Optimus Prime from the Transformers movie hence the reason why it’s named Optimus Prime. The fish looks very cool with long flowing fins. Their colours range from red to blue to white. The female fishes are not as highly colored and their fins are shorter. I think the one I have is a male one but I can only assume so. They say that you can’t keep two male Betta fishes together because they’ll fight each other to the death. But I think it’s alright if there’s a male and female Betta fish.

Optimus Prime: The Beta Fish

I keep Optimus Prime in a small bowl that is about ten inches in diameter. It’s enough space for him to move around. He likes to hide behind the leaves that I have in the bowl. I don’t pay a lot of attention to him so I don’t see him moving too much. I just check up on him every now and then to give him food. Usually I feed him about five pellets and that’ll last him about a few days. The food that he does eat drops to the bottom and starts to pollute the bowl. I was thinking of getting a snail to clean up the mess but I’m afraid that Optimus might kick its ass.

Optimus Prime: The Beta Fish

A couple of days ago, as I was getting ready for work, I noticed something odd in the bowl. Optimus wasn’t floating upright. He was floating on an angle as if he was limping. At that moment, I thought that he was dead. So I went up to the bowl and tapped it with my index finger. He started moving but it wasn’t strong movements. I was running a bit late for work but I didn’t want Optimus to die so I grabbed the bowl and took it to the kitchen to clean. I stuck him into a bucket as I cleaned his bowl. It was a bit icky with algae here and there but I managed to clean it up pretty good.

After everything was cleaned, I refilled the bowl with warm water and placed everything back in. I noticed that the water was more clearer than before. Optimus was even swimming and moving around more livelier. Before going to work, I gave him a few pellets to last him a few days. But then he gave me another scare when I got home. I saw this thing that was shaped like a fish and it was on its side. It turned out to be the anchor of one of the plants. Optimus was hiding behind one of the leaves again.

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November 17, 2007 1:56 PM

Lost

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by    in General

Last weekend, I lost my wallet. I’ve looked pretty much everywhere and I can’t seem to find it. I have no idea where it could be and I can’t even remember the last time that I had it. I think I had it Saturday but I can’t be too sure. Surprisingly, I’m not too worried about my identification and the number of bank cards in my wallet. There’s something else in my wallet that I value more.

My wallet is one of the things that I use very often and on a daily basis. But ever since I’ve lost it, I feel like I can’t do much. I can’t go to the store and buy anything because I have no access to my bank account. I can’t drive anywhere because I don’t have my driver’s license. I mean, I can drive but it’s best that I don’t because I have bad luck with the cops. And it’s going to be a pain to get everything back without any proper identification.

I remember having my wallet some time Saturday but I can’t be too sure. I’ll picture myself holding on to it but then something else comes to mind that will contradict it. I remember going to Tim Horton’s to get lunch but I also remember paying for my order with coins. And after work I went over to a friend’s birthday party so I might have left it there. Then again, if someone at the house found it, they would have told me by now.

It’s been a week and nothing has turned up yet. I had everything canceled when I couldn’t find my wallet after two days. I was on the phone for an hour calling up every single credit card company to cancel my cards. All of them were kind enough to send me a replacement card within the next week or so. One of the company put me in touch with TransUnion Canada to have a flag placed on my credit history. So for the next five years, it will be hard for me to open up a bank account since they will be more strict when it comes to looking at my credit history.

I haven’t canceled my driver’s license or my health card yet but I plan to. I’ll need to get a replacement for those but I don’t have sufficient identification right now. And one of the major piece of identification that was in my wallet was my Canadian Citizen’s card. It’s ironic that I went searching my parent’s house for that card only to lose it a couple of days later.

For some reason I’m not depressed at the fact that I lost my identification cards or my bank cards. I’m more depressed at the fact that I lost a picture of my girlfriend. On the back of the picture was a message that she wrote to me. I had that picture hanging on the wall of my cubicle at work but I decide it to put it in my wallet instead. I’m searching for my wallet to get that picture back since it’s more valuable than any of my bank card.

I’m out of options as to where to look since I’ve practically looked everywhere. My memory isn’t that good so I can’t remember when I last had it. I don’t think I could have dropped it when I was out but I have a funny feeling that I might have dropped it when I was raking up the leaves. If I did drop it while I was doing that, there’s a chance that I might have picked it up with the other leaves and stuck it in one of those brown bags. I’m going to have to dump out all the leaves and check there before I throw out those bags. As a last resort, I’m going to have to dig through those leaves in hopes of find something.

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November 15, 2007 1:54 PM

Apology accepted

1 comment
by    in Life

I was picked on a lot during my childhood. I was a short scrawny kid and I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself. Some of the people who try to pick on me assumed that I knew karate because I was Asian but I didn’t know the first thing about it. If there was on time that stood out like sore thumb, it was the time that I was surrounded by a small group of kids in my class. I never saw those kids again, none of them except for one kid named Mike.

Mike and a couple of other kids picked on me because I was the new kid in school. I would have avoided being surrounded by them if I stayed at school for lunch but I was shy and I wanted to go home. On my way home for lunch, I was surrounded on the sidewalk by three of the kids in my class. I didn’t know what to do and they wouldn’t leave me alone so I took off my backpack and swung it at them. One of the kids got a hold of my backpack and yanked it away from me. Now, I was defenseless. They surrounded me every closer and wanted to beat me up until a man showed up and told them to leave me alone. If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably have my ass kicked.

When I left Sanford Avenue School, I never saw those kids again. Or so I thought. When I got into high school, I met up with one of the kids that surrounded me. I didn’t want any trouble so I hoped that he didn’t remember me. We had gym class together and there, I also met up with a few classmates from previous schools. When that one kid saw me, he came up and talked to me for a bit. As it turned out, he wasn’t the same kid that tried to beat me up. Mike was more grown up and a bit more mature.

A couple of nights ago, I was at my friend’s house for his birthday. There were a lot of people there, including Mike. I didn’t talk to him much since we didn’t hang out as often. Everyone was partying and having a good time. I was sitting on the course watching some TV and having a few drinks. When I arrived at the party, the birthday boy wanted me to take a shot of Tequila with him. I couldn’t turn him down since it was his birthday. After taking the shot, I grabbed a bottle of Corona and went to sit down. When I was done with the beer, my girlfriend went and grabbed me another drink. I think it was Vodka mixed with Sprite or something. As soon as I finished that, I had to go to the washroom because the alcohol didn’t want to sit in my stomach. The washroom didn’t help much so I told my girlfriend that I was going outside to get some fresh air.

The walk to the front down was pretty bad since everything was starting to spin. When I got outside, the cold air helped a little but not much. There were a couple of people outside talking and they started talking to me as well. I tried to keep my answers short but the questions that they were asking couldn’t be answered with a few words. I took deep breathes in hopes that the cold air would cool me down a bit but it didn’t help.

Standing around outside and talking was Stephanie and Mike. I don’t know if they know each other but they were just chilling outside. After a few minutes, Stephanie went back inside and it as just Mike and I. After a few minutes, we started talking about our childhood and how we met. Mike and I go way back but we weren’t the best of friends back then. We hung out during the odd times but it was nothing major.

Mike was telling me how he’s trying to get his life back on track and do something with it. He was pissed off at his parents for not helping him as much as they should have. From what he was telling me, they weren’t much of a parent. They didn’t even attend his sister’s baby shower. He didn’t want to wait around for his parents to get his head straight so he took the initiative and did his own thing.

He told me that he had plans on moving out west to Vancouver to work for his uncle’s business. But before leaving, he wanted to apologize for all the bad things that he has done to me.

Mike: Listen, I know that there are some things in the past that I’ve done that I’m not proud of. There are some things that I’ve done to you and I want you to know that I’m really sorry for doing it.
Me: It’s okay, Mike. We were kids. Kids do stupid things.
Mike: Yeah, I know but I feel really bad about it.
Me: Don’t worry about it too much.
Mike: You’re a good guy and you didn’t deserve that.
Me: It’s okay, really.
Mike: We used to walk home together. You remember that?
Me: Yeah man.
Mike: Yeah, so I want to say that I’m sorry.
Me: You’re a good man, Mike.

I don’t know if he was all apologetic because he’s been drinking or because he really meant it. He didn’t seem like he was drunk or anything. Everything he said sounded very sincere. He shook my hand, stared me right in the eyes and said that he was sorry. I can’t turn down an apology like that.

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November 8, 2007 3:12 PM

Total portfolio

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by    in Finances

For a while now, I’ve been writing a lot about my finance life. Lately, that’s the subject that’s been on my mind the most whether it’s relating to my savings, loans, budgets or spendings. Every time this topic comes up during a conversation, I try to squeeze in an advice to save. I tell my friends to save whenever they can. It doesn’t have to be a large amount at one time. It can be as little as five dollars a month. As long as they save, they’ll have something in the bank, it’ll be something that can slowly gain interest in a high interest earning savings account.

I’ve been depositing part of my pay into my Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP). I started by depositing $25 a month and depositing it into my RRSP. I started up an automatic savings plan where the bank would automatically withdraw $25 from my chequing account. I was working at a job that paid minimum wage and twenty dollars a month was no big deal to me. I had no reason to start saving for my retirement at such a young age. No one gave me any information about it whatsoever. I only started one up because of the bank teller asked if I wanted one and I said yes on the spot. I’m glad that I started an RRSP at an early age because my savings are growing a lot more than I had anticipated.

My first RRSP was with Royal Bank of Canada (RBC). I was doing my banking one day and at the end of my visit, the teller asked if I would like to start up a retirement savings plan. My first thought was that I’m still young so why is she asking me to start saving for my retirement. Then I remember hearing about RRSP and how they’re locked away until you get to the age of sixty five. At the time, I was looking for a way to save money and this seemed like a good idea because I couldn’t touch that money or else I would be penalized. It was a sure fire way for me to save without touching a penny so I agreed.

After a few minutes of filling out some forms, I had an RRSP with an initial balance of $25. Every month, the bank would withdraw $25 from my account and I would think nothing of it. I hardly ever checked my pay stub so I assumed that whatever was being deposited into the bank was the amount that I earned for the month. So when the bank withdrew $25 at a time, I didn’t even see it. It was as if that $25 was part of my pay deduction.

After a year, RBC sent me a summary of my RRSP savings. When I looked at the total, I was surprised to a balance of over $300 saved up. At the time, it seemed like a lot to me and I liked the way things were going so I decided to continue to contribute to my RRSP. The following year, I was expecting an balance of $600 but I saw that there was more. I don’t what happened but there was an extra $400 in the account. I don’t think that rate of investment was that high so I might have contributed a bit more somewhere down the line. Nonetheless, I was happy with my savings.

The more I saved, the more I became interested as to how much I could save. Throughout the years, I continued to play around with my RRSP by increasing my deposits and changing my risk profile. Before, I was more conservative and I was very cautious as to how I spend my money. But now, I’m a bit more of a risk taker and I’m investing for the purpose of gaining higher growth.

Here’s a breakdown of what my investments are like as of the beginning of this month:

  Oct. 2007 Nov. 2007 Change
ING Direct $3,215.81 $3,276.15 +1.876%
Sun Life Financial $2,912.65 $3,115.58 +6.967%
Royal Bank of Canada $4,142.92 $4,220.91 +1.882%
  $10,271.38 $10,612.64 +3.322%

I’ve been investing since 1999 and this is where I’m at. I went from saving $25 a month to $150 a month. The ING RRSP was something that I started in January. I took out a $2000 loan and deposited all of that into an RRSP account. I earned $90 in interest in that account but I had to pay back $60 in interest to the loan. I didn’t care about the interest that I had to pay back since I was making $30 and increasing my tax return. The Sun Life RRSP is one that I started back in May and it has grown quite well. The company that I work for was kind enough to match 75% of my RRSP deposits and I’ve taking advantage of that.

I tell my friends all that the time that they should start up an RRSP. It’s a good way to save up and prepare for the future. My goal is to reach the $1,000,000 mark, retire and live off the interest.

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4 comments!
November 6, 2007 2:36 PM

Labour intensive

1 comment
by    in General

I drive around in a 1995 Mazda Millennia. It’s my girlfriend’s car and she’s had it for a while. During the last few months, we’ve been experiencing some problems with the car. I want to buy a new car but I can’t afford it right now. I could get the car fix but it doesn’t seem like I could afford that either. So, either I scrap the car and get a new one or I cough up the money and get this car repaired. I don’t think it’ll be worth it to fix it up.

I wanted to buy but I don’t want to get a used car. Everyone is saying that it’s better if I get a used car since it’ll be my first car but I don’t like that idea. I’ve been driving around enough that I have the experience I need to drive. It’s not that hard to steer a car. My experience with a used car hasn’t been a good one since they car keeps break down. The cost of fixing the car is more than the car itself. It’s because of that reason, I don’t to fix the car. Maybe I could get a better price elsewhere but the difference isn’t going to be that much.

For the Millennia, there are four things that require my attention. The right tie rod has a bit of play so that needs replacing. The CV boot has ripped and needs to be replaced. And both control arms needs to be replaced. I went in to get one part looked after but left with four things. I don’t have the time or money to get anything done. I was hoping that they replace the one item today but nothing was done.

Here’s a breakdown for the pricing:

Parts Cost
Both arms lateral assembly $292.00
Right tie rod $87.41
CV boot $30.18
Alignment $80.00
Labour $296.00
   
Subtotal $785.59
GST $47.14
PST $62.85
Total $895.58

It’ll cost me about $900 to get the car fix and I don’t think that’s worth it. I’d prefer to save that $900 and put it towards a new car. Unless I can find another shop that will do this job for a cheaper price, I don’t have any plans on going through with the repairs. But the thing is, I’m not sure if it’s worth it to fix the car. There’s a whole bunch of other stuff wrong with it already. For example, the engine is starting to die. It’s burning oil which leads me to believe that one of the cylinders is leaking. The car is probably running on three cylinders. Some times when I step on the gas, the car takes a couple of seconds to respond.

I’m not in any position to be buying a new used car. If I want to get another car, I’ll have to save up for it. Financing a car can get pretty expensive and it’ll use up funds that I don’t have right now. If I do decide to get a new car, I would like to buy one that is reliable and will last me a long time. I don’t know when I’ll have enough for a new car but I would like to get one soon.

1 comment...
November 2, 2007 5:26 PM

v11: Shy Blossom

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by    in Internet

I’ve started work on creating my new layout. It’s going hand in hand with the new colour that my girlfriend picked out for the living room. It’s a light shade of green but at the same thing, it’s a bit lively. I know that I’ve been saying that the layout was supposed to be up for a long time now but I’ve been really busy with work lately. I’ve been working every Saturday for the last month, trying to catch up. And now that I’ve got some spare time, I’m going to try and do what I can to get the new layout up and running. I hope that I don’t lose interest because it’ll take another month or so to get a different layout up.

v11: Shy Blossom

I guess, after looking at this for a while, the layout hasn’t change. Actually, I think it’s the same layout. It’s the design that’s different. I’ve been trying to use green for a while but I could never find the right shade of green. After we painted our living room, I took a picture of the wall and extracted the green with Photoshop. The shade of green that was extracted is nice and subtle and very calming.

There’s still a lot more to add but I think I’ll have some time during the weekend to do that. As it stands, it looks very simple and basic but I don’t want to make it too complicated. Right now, I’m liking the way it’s turning out.

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November 1, 2007 12:08 PM

Down on his luck

2 comments
by    in Life

A friend of mine is in a real slump at the moment. He’s running out of options and he’s got no one to turn to. There isn’t anyone left who is willing to help him out and he doesn’t know what to do. His life is going downhill and there shows no sign of sunshine in the upcoming days. What’s a guy to do when he’s on his last leg? Does he give up or does he continue to fight?

I’m encouraging him to fight and keep going. He doesn’t have many people to turn to but he can turn to me. I shouldn’t even be helping him out in the first place. He hasn’t done anything to help me when I was in need. All he’s done was take and take while I keep on giving. But it’s not in my character to leave a friend hanging in his time of need especially when he has nowhere to turn to.

A few years back, this friend borrowed money from him to buy a sound system and a security system for his car. The total came out to $1500 but he didn’t have to pay until the following year. He was making almost three times as much money as I was so I assumed that he would be able to pay for it before the interest kicks in. His credit rating was poor so the retailer wouldn’t give him the deal. I was originally supposed to co-sign for him but instead I became the primary buyer. I didn’t think too much of it since there was plenty of time to pay for it. I figured that if he makes $100 payments every month, he’ll have majority of it paid for.

Every time I get the bill in the mail, I would forward it to his house. But as the months pass, I saw that no payment was being made to the bill. I was starting to worry that my credit could be affected if he didn’t pay. I was only working part time so I was in no position to be making payments for an item that I didn’t purchase.

Then finally one day I get a call from the creditors. They asked me why I haven’t been paying my monthly bill. I informed them that my friend was the one that bought the item and he was supposed to be making monthly payments. The creditor told me that no payment has ever been made and it didn’t matter if my friend wasn’t paying them because the bill was in my name and I was responsible. I didn’t want my credit rating to be affected so I started making monthly payments. I managed to get everything paid for in about eight months. A bit of interest was accumulated but it wasn’t too much.

This friend has always been in some sort of financially dilemma and he’s been borrowing money from a few people. It’s gotten so bad that no one will lend him money any more. I wouldn’t blame them. Why would anyone want to lend money to someone who’s not going to pay them back? I feel sorry for him for being in this situation. I don’t think he brought it on himself but it just seems that he got bad luck. It’s either that or he’s really bad with money.

A couple of nights ago, he called me out for coffee. My girlfriend warned me not to give in and give him money. She didn’t have to warn me since I had no money to give anyway. As much as I wanted to help him, I couldn’t. I’m not in any position to be financially helping someone when I have problems of my own to worry about.

When I met up with him at Tim Horton’s, he looked like shit. He appeared to have lost some weight. His eyes were all red and he didn’t look like he’s getting any sleep. He told me that he hasn’t eaten in a couple of weeks. That’s insane! I don’t know why he would do such a thing to himself. I don’t know if he has anyone he can turn to but it seems like I’m the only one. He doesn’t want to go back to his parents since they kicked him out. I think it’s really stupid of his parents to do that. I told that to him to his face. No parent should abandon their kids like this. I don’t know the whole story so I can’t blame them entirely. I just think that you should be able to turn to your parents in your times of need, no matter what’s happening.

I couldn’t stand seeing him in this condition so I got him some food. It was the least that I could do. I didn’t have any money but even if I did, I wouldn’t give it to him. I bought him $20 worth of food and hoped that it would last for a while. It should late him two weeks if he rations it but I don’t know if that’ll help. He’s already late on his rent so I don’t know where he’s going to go when he gets kicked out and the winter month is rapidly approaching.

In times like these, if you can’t turn to your family and friends, you’re out of luck. It’s a cruel world out there and you need all the help you can get. No one with family and friends should be living like this. It makes you feel so alone in this world. If it’s one thing that I’m afraid of, it’s being alone. This world is so big and we’re so small. It’s a scary thought knowing that we’re isolated in our own little world with a population of one when there are six billion other people on this planet. Out of all those people, if there’s one person that give lend a helping hand, that one person can make all the difference in the world.

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