I’m going to kick your ass

There are some people in this world that needs a good ass whooping. And I don’t mean, turning them around and spanking their bum bum. I mean, get medieval on their asses. These people make me want to want to reach through the computer screen and punch them in the face. When I’m done punching them in the face, I want to pluck their nose hair too. You people probably don’t know who you are so I will narrow it down for you. If, by the end of reading this, your name doesn’t appear in the post, you’re safe. If you see your name, you better watch out when you see me. If you think that I’m taking about you, then you probably deserve an ass whooping too just for thinking like that.

I was sleeping peacefully the other day when I was awoken by a phone call. I had my cell phone placed on my desk set to “Soft Ring” mode. My desk is right beside my bed so I heard it ringing and woke up. Normally, I wouldn’t answer phone calls that woke me up but I was curious who the caller was. Lately, I’ve been receiving a lot of phone calls around 9:00am but I’m never awake to answer them. This time I decided to pick up.

Bad move. It was a waste of time and I should have left it alone. Apparently, it was some guy who got my number from Tan and asked if I wanted a job with Primerica. Primerica is a debt consolidation company that goes around and tries to help their customers get their financial problems solved. So what they do is, they take all your bills and put them into one. They total up the amount that you owe to those companies and pays them for you. Now, you owe Primerica. They divide up the monthly payments to something that you can afford and charge you interest accordingly.

I know this because I’ve gone to their info session before. That was a waste of time too. After watching the video and seeing what the job entitles, I didn’t want to join. I was attending college and working part time so I had no extra time to do this job on the side.

The district manager, of the Primerica office that I went to, wanted to set up a meeting with me. I told him that I had school and worked part time so I didn’t think I would have time for another job. He tried to convince me by saying that I didn’t have to put in a lot of hours to get started. I also told him that I didn’t have the $200 that was need to start working. He countered by saying that I would make that money back. This bastard wouldn’t give up. He was just asking for an punch in the face.

He wouldn’t stop giving me reasons to join until I booked an appointment to meet up with him again. I told him again that I had school and right after school, I head to work which was down the mountain and on the other side of town. Since Mohawk College was just down the street, he asked if I could just stop by quickly for another info session and maybe change my mind. I gave up and booked an appointment with him.

On the day of the appointment, I got out of class around 4:00pm. The next bus that was heading downtown arrived at 4:10pm. I took that bus downtown and caught the 4:30pm bus to the west end of Hamilton. If I had attended the appointment, I would have been late for work. So screw him for not listening to me.

He only wanted to recruit people because they would be making the money for him. The way Primerica works is that you start off with some training videos but you have to buy them. For the whole package, it cost somewhere around $200. Then they tell you that you make the $200 back after you’ve signed three customers. So you’re not even making money until your fourth sign up. But the person that referred you and everyone else above you makes money. The way that the company is structured allows the people at the top to do nothing and still get paid.

The phone call that woke me up was regarding the same thing. This guy wanted to meet up with me to see if I was interested in making some extra money on the side. He threw a round figure of $1000 extra, to make things sound enticing. Again, I made up my excuse that I don’t have time because i work full time nights and I have a company to run. This guy wasn’t that desperate and gave up easily. He didn’t say much to try and book an appointment with me. But he did ask to keep my number on file just in case another opportunity shows itself.

So the person that deserves an ass whooping is Tan. After arguing with him countless number of times about his previous jobs, he knows how much I hate doing the door to door stuff. Even when he mentioned that he was a meeting with Primerica, I told him that it was a bad job prospect but he doesn’t listen. Whatever case wants to make, he goes all out and makes it. If you make a point that attacks his point, he counter attacks with another case. Eventually, you just give up and let him win because there’s no changing his mind.

I was thinking that maybe kicking his ass would change his mind. Going at it the civilized way doesn’t seem to work with him so I have to take desperate measures. A kick in the ass, a punch in the face and a few strands of nose hair might do the trick. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just have to run him over when I see him crossing the street. And when he’s down, I’ll walk up to him, kick his ass, punch him in the face and pluck all of his nose hair. But knowing him, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be crossing the street because he’s too lazy to walk anywhere.

5 thoughts on “I’m going to kick your ass

  1. hahahah… why do you swear and then later on censor the same word? and how is getting his number going to help you kick is ass? cuz you’re kicking his ass doesn’t mean that you’re getting out of it… next time we go for coffee… I’m going to run you over… muahaahah!

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