I’m feeling fine

I hate having to go to the doctor’s office because the line up is way too long. If I’m sick, there’s a high chance that I’ll be even sicker by the time I leave the place. I don’t like to wait two hours to see the doctor for five minutes and I don’t like to get sicker than I already am so I don’t go to the doctor’s office. Even if it’s a life or death situation, I’m planning on staying away from the doctor’s office.

I have the smallest medical history in my family. Maybe I have the small medical history known to man. I’ve seen my medical file and it’s half a full scrap paper. That’s right, my doctor keeps our files on full scrap paper. He probably guys it from Walmart during the Back to School season and saves a lot of money.

While the rest of my family has a history that’s probably two or more pages long, my history is nothing compared to them. Yet for some reason, when I cough once, they immediately assume I’m sick as hell. It’s just a cough, how does that set off an alarm? Every winter, I start coughing and I assume that most people would as well around this time of year. The fact that I’m coughing doesn’t mean I have to go see the doctor.

I haven’t been to the doctors in years, maybe decades. The last time I remember going to the doctors was back in middle school. The reason why I went was because I was coughing. Visiting the doctor was a waste of time. I could have healed myself by staying in bed. Instead, I was forced to go see the doctor. He has no idea what I had other than a cough. I think he mad up some condition and told me I had chronic bronchitis or something. He probably makes up this stuff as he goes along.

Every time I go to the doctors, it’s for the same illness. Yet, for some reason he’ll prescribe me five different medicine. I would understand giving me five different if the previous medicine didn’t work but I don’t think he looked over my history. Not like he can read his own hand writing anyway. I bet that every time I go see the doctor, he probably thinks I’ve got a different version of the virus. It’s as if my body somehow mutates the virus so I’ll cough at a high pitch than the previous. Depending on the pitch of the cough he’ll prescribe me the right medicine.

I was once prescribed some yellow liquid that tasted like shit. Why bother making it yellow if you’re not going to cover up the taste with banana flavour or something. For all I know, it could have been that Buckley’s medicine but the unbranded version.

I was instructed to take the medicine twice a day until it was gone. At the time, I didn’t think the medicine was going to help so I took it once and then left the rest on my desk. The next day, I felt better. You would probably think that by taking the medicine once, I was cured. No. This medicine wasn’t that good. Something that tastes like shit probably doesn’t do shit. It’s all in the mind.

The next time I got sick with a cough, I didn’t even bother going to the doctors. I stayed home and played on the computer. My abdominals got a work out from all the coughing but I got better as the days went by. I didn’t even need the medicine because my body was building antibiotics on its own. I’ve got a lot of immunity towards virus because I haven’t been sick since.

Influenza is supposed to be hard on people around the winter time. In order to be prepared for it, people line up to get their yearly flu shot. I don’t know if people know about this but they’re getting the flu when they get their flu shot. The vaccine is the flu. You’re getting injected with the influenza virus so your body can start building antibodies to fight it. The viruses are dead though so they don’t harm you.

I’ve never gotten the flu shot in my life and I’ve never gotten the flu. You can say I’m lucky but I don’t think luck has anything to do with me catching a virus. My body has built up enough antibodies over the years that I’m probably immune to AIDS.

If I do manage to get sick, it’s nothing serious. Usually, it’s just a low fever, sore throat, running nose and lots of coughing. After a couple of days in bed, I feel much better and I didn’t need to go to the doctor and get medicine or anything. Why bother going to the doctors and waiting to get medicine when my body does a good job at healing itself. I do get sick during the odd times but that usually happens if I don’t eat within 24hrs. The room would start to spin around and I would get nauseous. When that happens, I just limit my movement by staying in bed with my eyes closed. Within 12hrs, I’m up on my feet and back to normal.