Oh, that’s warm

When someone does something to piss you off, a good rule to follow is, “Don’t get mad. Get even.” That is what I try to do in life. There’s no sense in getting mad because that would be admitting that the other person has won. The only thing left to do is to get even.

When I first came to Canada, I experienced a lot of things for the first time. I’ve never seen snow fall from the sky before so I was amazed by it. I wouldn’t say that I was shocked to see snow because back in Thailand, we had ice cream. So I’m not new to the whole cold white stuff. The whole cold weather thing was new to me though and I didn’t like it one bit. It was a good thing that my school was a few blocks down the road or else I would have dreaded walking to school.

I would have preferred to walk to school in the snow rather than get a ride in my dad’s Ford Thunderbird. The second I step into that car and close the door is the second that I start vomiting. Everyone thought that I was car sick but that wasn’t it. I hated the smell of the interior. It smelt similar to that of a fresh new car. The smell made me a little dizzy and the dizziness made me vomit. Everywhere I went, I had to carry a plastic bag with me. Oh, my parents were pissed off every time I puked. After a few dozen rides in the car, you’d think the car would smell like vomit but it didn’t. It still smelt like a brand new car and I still puked it in. I think I even puked on the plane right to Canada. I don’t remember much about the flight other than puking. But now that I’m older, I think I got all the puking out of my system because I have no problem driving anywhere. Although, I always seem to feel a little woozy during when I’m on the Go bus.

Anyway, this entry wasn’t supposed to be about puking all over the place but it just came up, no pun intended. When I was in Grade 2, I went swimming for the first time. We had swimming lessons every Tuesday at an indoor pool that was attached to my school. I’ve never swam before and it was sort of hard to learn because my English was stilling developing. The instructor tried to help me out the best she could but I wasn’t swimming any time soon.

I remember one day, we had to swim from one side of the pool to the other side. The class got into two lines and we would swim in pairs to the other side. Every time my head went under water, I would bring it back out because I wasn’t floating. It was a good thing that we were in the shallow end or else I would have drowned. There was this girl, Jamie was her name and she would always make fun of me because I couldn’t swim. Oh, I hated her because she was a show off. She was one of the best swimmers in the class so when she saw me, she teased me about it. I couldn’t swim so I usually ended up walking to the other side.

To make matters worse, I was wearing on of those shorts that would turn into a floatation devices as soon as you enter the water. I don’t know why it did that. It was as if there was air trapped in my shorts and my shorts would inflate once it was in contact with water. It was a little embarrassing because I would be walking across the pool with my shorts half way up my bum. I think that was the first time I experienced a wedgy. It wasn’t good the first time and it still isn’t good now.

As I’m walking across the pool, Jamie is taunting me by pointing and laughing at me. She was the next person to swim but she couldn’t start until I got to the other side of the pool. I got really pissed off at her this time so that’s what I did. I pissed in the pool.

So there I was, walking from the middle of the pool to the other, peeing as I made my way. By the time I reached the other end, I was done. My territory was marked. It was quite refreshing and the water was a little chilly so it was rather warm too. I climbed out of the pool and walked to the back of the line. Then Jamie jumped in. She does her little professional drive into the pool and starts swimming. And then she gets to the part where I start peeing. A big evil grin came across my face. Revenge was so sweet!

So let this be a lesson to you. Don’t make fun of people because they can secretly get you back. I’m pretty sure that there is not one single pool in the world where someone has not yet pissed in.

2 replies on “Oh, that’s warm”

  1. Hahaha ewww that’s gross don! but i understand the brand new car smell thing. makes me wanna puke too… cuz it’s all plastic-y and rubbery smelling…usually that makes me all dizzy feeling…

  2. i think i would still puke if I get into a car with that smell. if i’m not driving it, something will come out for sure..

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