Illegal pedestrians

Jaywalking, as most of us call it, is a term used when pedestrians are crossing the street without regards for the traffic around them. Some of us may have done it before, some might not have. I have a bone to pick with those that do and don’t care. Those are the stupid ones.

Every now and then, I’ll jaywalk. I’ll admit it. I’m a jaywalker. I cross the street illegal at an area that is not marked for crossing. Sometimes, if I’m in a hurry, I’ll jay run across the street.

When I’m driving and I see someone jaywalk across the street, I just want to go medieval on their illegal crossing ass. The majority of them are all the same too. They all cross the street, illegal, in the same manner.

Here’s what I’ve notice them doing. The light turns green for the cars to go. The jaywalker is about fifty meters down the road and he knows we’re all heading his way. What does the jaywalker do? He proceeds to cross the street but he doesn’t hurry. No, no, that’s against the jaywalking codes of conduct. He continues to cross the street at a speed of two paces per second.

Meanwhile, there are about twenty three cars gunning for him. I see him, the car next to me sees him. We make eye contact and we floor it. Me and the car in the next lane are racing to see who can hit the jaywalker first. So we’re zooming down the street while the jaywalker takes his time. Right now, we’re playing chicken with the jaywalker. The first one to flinch loses.

Of course, usually it’s one of the cars that flinches first because the jaywalker is oblivious to the fact that a bunch of cars are enroute to meet him. The drivers have no choice but to slow down or else they run the risk of performing a hit and run.

If there’s one thing that jaywalkers are good at doing, it’s pretending that there are no cars heading there way. I’ve seen it all too often where the jaywalker would walk across the street and will not turn his head to check traffic. He would walk across the street and act as if everything is cool. Notice that I said he and not she. If the jaywalker was a girl, she would be running. Not only would she be running but she would also giggle. Girl, like most occasions, will jaywalk with another girl because girls like to do things in pairs.

And then you get the jaywalkers who would walk across the street and will actually notice that cars are heading for him. These guys will do one of two things. One, they will see that cars are heading their way and they will stop and head back to where they came from. If they don’t have enough time, they will not try and cross the street. What I don’t understand is the fact that sometimes, they will be half way across the street and they will turn back. I don’t know why they don’t continue and just run the second half but I guess going the rest of the way is too far.

Two, they will start to pick up the pace a little. You will notice them picking up the pace because their legs will look as if they’re running. You know how it looks, with one leg on the ground and the other leg is perpendicular it. They don’t motion their arms like when they do when they’re running. No, they position their hands so it looks as if they’re a girl holding a purse. It’s almost like the motion that gay guys do when they say “Oh, stop it” but without the wrist flick.

No matter where you go, there will always be an abundance of jaywalker. Some of them should be run over for their own good. Even after they get hit, chances are they still won’t learn their lesson. If you have the right of way and they walk in front of you, you can flare your horns but all they’ll do is flip you the bird.

2 thoughts on “Illegal pedestrians

  1. Oh man… you know what you should do? You should NOT decrease speed.. and instead honk your horn for a LONG ASS TIME (i.e. 10 seconds), and then, roll down the windows and say “YOU F***ING IDIOTS! IT SAYS DON’T WALK!!” haha.. that’s what I did when I drove downtown once… it feels good to use the horn since it’s not frequently used when you’re driving =D

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