Crazy bird

Mississauga not only has crazy drivers but they also have crazy birds too. Just when I thought I got use to the city, something like this comes up. It was totally unexpected too. I didn’t think any birds would come over and attack me for no good reason but apparently they can get pretty violent.

It was late in the day and I was hungry. The company had their weekly luncheon but all that was left was a bunch of buns and a piece of chicken. There was another guy coming in to do the graveyard shift so I thought I’d save the chicken for him while I munched on some buns. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t filling either. So I decided to head on over to Tim Horton’s to grab something.

I did the regular routine of forwarding the phones too my cell phone, hoping this time I won’t be bombarding with calls the next day. I walked on over to the Tim Horton’s on the other side of Burnhamthorpe. I walked across the field and walked by some trees. This is the regular route that I take, nothing has changes. Only this time when I passed a tree, something fell out of the tree and hit me on the side of the head. The tree is on my right side but something hit me on the left side. I turned to look and all I see is this bird coming at me.

Me: Ahhhhh!
Bird: Twweet twweeet tweeett!
Me: WTF!
Bird: Twwett tweeet tweettt!
Me: I don’t speak any avian language!
Bird: Boycott Tim Horton’s!

What the hell was wrong with this bird? All I did was walk to Tim Horton’s like I usually do. I’ve never been attacked before. Then I thought maybe the bird just has some trouble seeing because it was a bit dark. But it came at me a few more times. Luckily, I wasn’t too far from the entrance to the restaurant. I looked around but I don’t think anyone saw. If I saw some guy being attacked by a bird, I would be laughing out loud. I wouldn’t be LOL’ing like you MSN people, I would be actually laughing out loud.

So I give my order and pay for it. While I’m on the subject, let me just say that this is one of the weirdest Tim Horton’s I’ve ever been to. Sometimes, I would have to order from this old guy who looks like he’s pissed off at me because I’m there. Yes, he may greet me and say, “May I take your order, please?” but his eyes are saying, “WTF do you want!?” This guy would make my order and then put it on the side and then look at me and point to the coffee. I’m standing right in front of him and he puts the coffee over on the other side. Is it that hard for him to hand me the coffee? It was easy enough for him to reach over and accept my money but he can’t reach over and hand me my order.

I guess that is how this restaurant does business. In order to reduce the amount of crowdedness, they make the coffee and put it to the side so the customers can move over instead of standing there. But there was no one in line but me. I have to walk two meters to pick up my coffee. By the time I get there, the coffee is already cold. I don’t like this guy one bit. The other workers seem nice but it’s still too early to tell. I haven’t gone to this Tim Horton’s often enough to know. But with angry eyes cashier and that crazy bird, it’s not getting off to a good start.

So anyway, I leave the Tim Horton’s and walk back to the office. As I get near that tree I cautiously look around for that crazy bird. The tree is now to my left and it has gotten a bit darker which makes it harder to see. Then I spotted it. All of a sudden, “Twweeett tweet tweet!” Two birds took off to my right and startled me because I think they’re coming after me but they’re just flying away. I turn to look back to my left and that crazy bird is staring me down. If only I had a rock, I’d knock that bird out of that tree.

So if you’re in Mississauga be on the look out for crazy birds as well. The can attack at any given time. They work better when it starts to get dark because they blend in. These bird must have flew over the cuckoo’s nest one too many times.

2 thoughts on “Crazy bird

  1. Don, that was the best laugh I’ve had all day. LOL! Gotta tell you this though, I’ve lived in Mississauga since the 80’s and never, ever had a bird attack me. This one seems to have had a personal vendetta.. what the hell did you do to it???

  2. I have no idea whatsoever. I was minding my own business when it came after me. Maybe it was pissed off that I cut my hair. It probably had plans to pluck my hair and use it for its nest but I ruined it’s plan.

    I’m afraid to go to Tim Horton’s these day. Now, I try and go to the coffee shop on the 2nd floor.

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