A glitch in the matrix

“Deja vu is a glitch in the Matrix.” That’s a quote from my favourite movie. When I get the feeling of deja vu, I get scared. It’s a freaky feeling that can’t be explained by logic or science. You see an event unfold before you and you’re pretty sure that it has happened before but logic argues otherwise. There still remains a lot that science has not yet discovered about the human brain. It holds years and years of memories but no one knows how those memories are stored and to what capacity.

Throughout my life, I can recall about a dozen times when I have felt deja vu. When I first experienced it, I didn’t know what it was. One thing I did know was that it confused the hell out of me. I couldn’t explain what I was going through so it made me scared. But eventually, that fear turned into curiosity. And the curiosity is leading to me thinking I was going crazy.

The feeling of deja vu doesn’t last long, maybe a few seconds. But during those few seconds, I get this odd feeling that sends chills down my spine. I can recall a time when I was helping my mom count some money. She got up and left the room while I continued to count the bills. As soon as she re-entered the room, the deja vu feeling started. She had just finished giving my little brother a bath and was starting to redress him. I watched as the whole thing unfolds and I was positive that this had happened before, in exactly the same manner. But in the back of my mind, I was thinking that this couldn’t have happened before. We had just recently moved into this house so the event that I was seeing had to be something new. After that day, every time I get the deja vu feeling, I would predict what was going to happen next. And you know what’s scary? The majority of the time, everything I thought of in my head, was happening as I thought of them.

In a recent blog, “Stranger” I talked about a feeling I got when I saw a reflection of myself and not recognize it. This feeling is the opposite of deja vu and it is known as “jamais vu” which translate to “never seen.” It is a feeling that something so very familiar can seem very alien to oneself. I’ve done a bit of reading on the subject and found that these feelings are glitches in the cogniton. Experiences like this challenges one sanity and sometimes it is difficult to judge whether something is reality or fantasy. The mind has a mind of it owns and does what it wants. It can select, manipulate and even exaggerate memories to make them seem like they are true. When I look back at the blogs that I have written over the year, I have a hard time remembering writing them in the first place. Insanity, here I come!

And to all of my neighbours to the south, I’d like to wish you a Happy Independence Day!