Patience

In the blog titled, “Stranger” a visitor commented that I may be going insane. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not already insane. One of the famous philosophers argued that if you were insane you wouldn’t know you were insane because from your perspective everything is fine. If other people don’t agree with you then they’re wrong. There is no right or wrong. The definition of right and wrong depends on your point of view. What may be wrong to me, can be right to you. So the definition of sane and insanity all depends on who you are as well.

I may have already gone insane and not even know it. Maybe everything I’m going through is all in my head. I’m not your typical guy. I think I have way too much patience, too high of a tolerance for things and nothing seems to bother me much. If I make plans to do something with some friends and they take too long to arrive, I keep waiting. While most people would throw a hissy fit, I remain calm and don’t say a word. Basically, I bottle up everything. Eventually, I may explode without notice. If something pisses me off, no one will even know.

Deep down inside, I’m bothered by a lot of things. I just don’t show it. The way I see it, it’s bothering me so no one else needs to know about it. I’ll probably blog about it and those who are interested in reading about it can do so here. I find it kind of pointless to express my thought at the time. I find that most people don’t listen. They expect you to listen but they don’t do it themselves. The things i say goes in one ear and somehow gets lost in their head. The response I’m expecting them from has nothing to do with what I’ve just said. There’s no flow in the conversation. I’ll be talking about apples and oranges and the other person will be talking about World of Warcraft.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from being patience, it’s that you can’t let things get to you. If things don’t go your way, just forget about it and move on. You don’t have time to waste so just ignore it. It’s a lesson learned and in the future you will know what to do. Every time I go rollerblading at the bay, I’m there by myself. The reason I’m there alone is because I don’t want to wait for anyone. I can go at my own pace and not have to worry if the other person is a beginner or not. If I call up another person, there’s a chance that I might have to wait on them. I don’t mind waiting if it’s worth it but if it’s something like rollerblading, I don’t bother. If anyone wants to go rollerblading with me, they’ll have to meet me there.

In the end, I’m pretty much a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I have all the patience in the world which is more than one person needs. With all my anger bottled up inside, I just might lose it one day but I don’t see that happening. I take out my anger by relaxing my mind. I relaxing my mind by rollerblading. The more I rollerblade, the calmer I am. If I had a car, I would drive around all night. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, to be driving while my mind is wandering but something about speed helps me relax. Everyone has their quirks, this is mine. I guess it’s like my happy thought only I don’t just think about it, I do it.