No really, what’s your name?

My job at Rogers Wireless will soon be coming to an end. I have about a week left before I’m unemployed. Soon, I’ll be joining the rest of the unemployed as they search for a job. The job as been a good experience for me, maybe not a good one but something I’ll remember for a while. The coworkers were easy to get along with, they knew exactly what they were doing and they had plenty of stories to tell. The funniest part of the job was trying to pronounce some of the names of the customers.

Before leaving work yesterday, I took a few seconds to do a search and see if I can find the names of actual people. The first name that came to mind was ‘Seymour Butts.’ I typed in the last name first because there are a few ways to spell ‘Seymour.’ The search returned about a dozen people with the last name ‘Butts.’ The majority of them had a first name of ‘Seymour’ and ‘Seemore.’ Can you imagine having that name? After what Bart Simpson did with those calls to Moe’s Tavern, I don’t think anyone would believe that your name would be ‘Seymour Butts.’

I would assume that this guy would get a lot of prank phone calls. I would hate to be the person calling from Rogers to this guy’s house. ‘May I speak with Seemore Butt?’ What do you think this guy’s reaction would be? With a name like that, you would assume that every phone call asking for that person would be considered a prank call. Heck, I saw a ‘Seemore Butts’ listed in the result who was a doctor. What are the chances of that? I bet he’s a proctologist. With a name like that, your career is set from the day you were born. His parents probably already had him enrolled in proctology school before he was born.

Another customer that I spoke with had a last name ‘Acrossthemountain.’ Yes, that’s all one word. And I think it’s pronounced the way it spelt, with or without spaces. You can imagine my surprise when I had to say that aloud. I had to try not to laugh. And that’s hard to do when you’re speaking. I must have hit the mute button a couple of times to hide my giggling. When I first saw the name, I thought it was just another one of those long names that I’ll have a problem say. But turns out, it was three different words put together. How do you end up with a last name like this? Did they run out of last names and just started giving out last names depending on your location? After thinking about that, it kind of made me wonder. On TV, the parents would be talking about some other character and they would refer to that person as something like, ‘Bob across the street.’ Maybe ‘Acrossthestreet’ is his last name and he’s not actually across the street.

I wonder how many other odd last names there are out there. Heck, I heard that there’s someone in the Guinness Books of Records for having the longest name in the world. The parented had to fill out twenty six pages of applications just to get the name in. Why couldn’t they just name their kid ‘Bob?’ That’s simple enough. If the kid turns out stupid and becomes dyslexic, he’ll end up spelling his name right anyways.

Some Chinese people have names you can hardly pronounce. Yesterday, my coworker spoke with a Chinese guy whose first name was spelt “Xxx” He must have been a Chinese porn star or something. You know how porn stars changes their name to match their career. But how do you address someone whose name is ‘Xxx?’ Triple X? Does he go by the nickname ‘3 strikes’ or something?

But anyways, if I do run across anymore funny sounding names, I’ll be sure to add them on to here. I’ll have to keep track of them in my head because we’re not allowed to use pen and paper at work no more, for security purposes. But that’s a whole other story.