Big ass dictionary

Tonight, I was supposed to finish up my Christmas shopping. But I never got around to doing that because I’m a little short on funds. Instead, I walked around the mall with a friend mainly to kill some time. I stopped over at the Liquidation center to see if we can find anything cheap. There wasn’t much there, it was mostly junk. It was probably items that you probably wouldn’t buy because it wasn’t worth it.

We walked around and made our way towards the books because my friend was looking for War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I doubted that we would find a copy but it didn’t hurt to try. Every book was on sale. The price ranged from $1.99 to something around $20 but I highly doubted that those books were more than $20. I walked around and found a massive dictionary that was about three inches thick and weighed about a ton. I checked the price at the back, it was retailed for $59.95 but the sign said 80% off, so that’s a savings of $48 which meant the final price came out to $11.99, which was cheap.

I didn’t have a dictionary in my book collection so I took it. Meanwhile, my friend walked around looking for his book. Somewhere along the way he mentioned that we were being watched by the staff members. That’s so typical of them to not trust a couple of Asian guys who are dressed like thugs. As if we Asians go around to liquidation centers to steal a dictionary. Who in their right mind would want to steal a dictionary? Although this dictionary was fairly huge and it could have been used as a weapon. I could have easily taken the dictionary, knock out the staff member with it and then i can really tell them what knocked out means, literately. I could define what just happened while the staff member is knocked out cold.

knockout (‘nok,aut’) n. 1) the act of rendering unconscious

See, the dictionary is already becoming useful and it has been in my possession for a few hours. Just so you know there are eleven definitions for knockout. That’s one word down and five hundred twenty four more definitions to learn. I can probably finish reading the dictionary in a year’s time. This dictionary is a 2003 edition so it’s fairly new. It contains the definition for some hi-tech vocabulary. Even the word blog is in here.

blog (‘blog’) n. Informal short for weblog.
weblog (‘web,log’) n. a journal written on-line and accessible to users of the Internet. Also: blog.

Nice dictionary, eh. It tells you to look up the full word but the full word also refers back to the short form. But all in all, it wasn’t a bad deal. I saved myself $48 and got me a wealth of knowledge, the better to expand my vocabulary with. Pretty soon, I’ll be using such big words that no one will be able to understand what I’m saying in my blog.