I didn’t need to know that…

How much info is too much info? Would info pertaining to someone else’s sex life, whom you don’t know, be considered too much? What about farting and then letting the other person know about it? That alone is just nasty. You wouldn’t have to tell the other person, I’m sure they’ll find out soon enough. No matter how close you are to someone, you shouldn’t be farting in front of them. That stuff is left to be done when you’re alone. Not out of respect for the victim but for their own safety. It’s hazardous to your health. That stuff is just fowl!

Here’s a list of things that I don’t need to know:

  • Getting a raise
  • It’s that time of the month
  • The number of girls whose msn address you’ve managed to get
  • Religion
  • Your ass is itchy
  • You’ve just farted
  • You gotta take a dump

Getting a raise: If you’ve recently got a raise, well, I’m happy for you. But if you got a raise and you’re making more than I am and you’re bragging about it, I’m gonna shoot you! I don’t care if you’ve got a raise. The fact that you’re bragging about it because you’re making more than me, that’s a bit of an arrogant attitude. I don’t like arrogant people one bit. They think they’re better than you because they’re making it big.

That time of the month: This issue isn’t widely talked about because it’s a personal thing and up until my college years, I really didn’t hear to much about it. But college girls are more open than high school girls. College girls will tell you just about anything. I had a girl tell me that when it’s that time of the month, she has to switch to the extra heavy pads. Whoa!! Back off! What you have on under your underwear is on a need to know basis and I don’t need to know.

Msn address you’ve managed to get: Some guys pride themselves on the number of girls on their msn list. Whoopty doo!

Religion: Anyone who talks religion to me knows that I’m not a fan for the man upstairs. Never seen the guy, never met the guy, and I don’t even know if he is a guy. Plus, I don’t think I’ll meet him any time soon. So, if you want to believe that there’s an invisible man that lives in the sky, I am not going to stop you.

Itchy ass: If my ass is itchy, I scratch it. I’m not gonna tell anyone that it’s itchy. If you tell someone your ass is itchy, that’s kinda like asking them if they can scratch it for you.

You’ve just farted: That’s nice! I didn’t know to know that! Now bugger off!

You gotta take a dump: What make some people think that I’d be interested in knowing when they’re going to take a dump? You want me to go with you or something? Is that why you’re asking? Need someone to hold your hands while you do that? If you have to go and do number two I’m not going anywhere near the washroom for a good hour or so.
Usually, I don’t mind hearing about some of this stuff but most of it is for you, and you alone, to know and me not to find out. If I’m curious, I’ll be sure to ask, thank you very much.

One reply on “I didn’t need to know that…”

  1. I don’t know man, I agree on all accounts except the last two. I think my friends need to know when I fart, as I need to know when they fart so i can duck and cover. As well, I feel an admittance of having to take a dump is acceptable if it phrased hilariously. ie. ‘I’ve gotta fire off a skud’.

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