I got my monthly visa statement today and to my surprise I owe TD Bank 24 cents. And they want their 24 cents by the end of the money or else I’m in trouble. Oh no! Where, in the world, am I gonna find 24 cents? Do I look like I’m made of money! Damn!
I don’t know why they bother sending out a bill for something that low. They should juss pay for it themselves rather than hunt me down for pocket change. Yeah, I know it adds since they have millions of clients. But how much would that be? Let’s make a rough estimate.
Canada has 32,805,041 people in it. With an unemployment rate of 7.6%, that leaves 92.4% of the people are employed. Now, let’s posulate that 1/4 of that number are kids who shouldn’t be working, so we’re down to, crap where did my calculator run off to… down to 69.3%. And let’s posulate once again that another quarter are the old folks who are retired, no wait, there’s not that many of them, so let’s cut that in 1/2 as well, so we’re left with 60.6% of the popuation in the work force. So who’s left, oh yeah, people on social service, I’m guessing that’s like 1/3 of the people so we’re left with, approximately 40%.
According to my calcuations, there are 13,122,016 people working. Now out of all those people, not all of them are with TD. TD CanadaTrust owns 21% of the banking market. So again, the number comes out to 2,755,623. And let’s pretend each one of those customers owes TD 24 cents, that would mean TD would pay out $661,349.52. TD Bank Financial Group had $333,000,000,000 in assets, as of January 2005. So the $661,349.52 that me and the rest of the clients owes them is pocket change. It’s like the cost of a timbit to them.
I’m gonna wait a while and not pay off this bill and see if they charge me interest on it. If they do, that would mean that I would be charge 1 cent every 2 month. That’s too much money! I better pay them off now before they send hired goons after me.
**Most of the figures aren’t real. I’m too lazy to do a thorough research. If you wanna find the right numbers, be my guest.